if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
