This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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