I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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