whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
