I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
