OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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