I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
