I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
