I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
