i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
