Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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