Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
