yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
