Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
