Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
