so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
