I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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