i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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