Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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