Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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