I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
