I just saw a hot homeless man
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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