I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
