end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
