Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
These tits shall not be calmed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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