i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
