the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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