U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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