i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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