How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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