Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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