I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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