You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
