Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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