i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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