I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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