I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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