just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
