I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
