Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
