I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
