ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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