I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I still have a little drunk in my system
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
