Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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