you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
