He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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