Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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