I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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