I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
