My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
