I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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