Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
