why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
