just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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