You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
