If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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