Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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