I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
