no, he came in my armpit
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Even my vagina gasped.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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